BREAKING NEWS: Psychology & Self-Help

Use This Phrase to Power Up Progress

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 21:05:09 -0400

Want to improve at work or achieve your goals? Using certain words and phrases could give you the edge.

What Are Introverts Like As Children? 7 Characteristics

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 20:53:32 -0400

If your child has these seven traits, he or she is probably an introvert.

Dead in the line of duty? What comes next for the families?

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 20:32:25 -0400

National Police Week is May 6-15. What most people don't know about line of duty deaths and the private grieving that happens behind the so-very-public stories.

What to Ask About

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 20:01:27 -0400

A checklist for psychotherapists and counselors.

Parenting in the Age of School Shootings

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 19:08:02 -0400

As a physician, my loyalty is to my patients. But when that patient is a potential school shooter, my loyalties get complicated.

Using AI to Unravel the Complexity of Collective Behavior

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 18:43:20 -0400

Researchers create a new artificial intelligence machine learning to model collective behavior of living organisms.

Relationships: The Curse & Cure of Becoming More You

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 18:18:49 -0400

What is often driving relationship problems is the need for to individuate — be more of the person you now are. Symptoms and ways to successfully move through this challenging time

The Science Of Habits

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 17:13:24 -0400

Trying to create some new habits or change old ones? It may be easier than you think.

8 Great Books About Finding Your Callings

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 17:07:16 -0400

Mini-reviews of great reads—fiction and nonfiction—about the search for callings.

Social vs. Material Values

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 16:56:12 -0400

You go first! No, you go first! When you cede the first move to someone else, are you being nice—or socially nimble?

Neuromyth: Brain Scanners “See” Thinking

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 16:40:09 -0400

There are hundreds of intriguing headlines that combine with the general feeling of Big Brother watching your every move to result in the myth that we can somehow “see” brains thinking. Headlines like “Brain Scan that Shows Researchers What You Are THINKING About” are even more disturbing and declare, “brain scans now allow researchers to know exactly what a person is imagining.” 109 Other headlines like, “Mind-Reading Computer Instantly Decodes People’s Thoughts” 110 and “This Camera Records the Thinking Brain” 111 sound amazing, but less so when you see that they relate to mice studies and spatial memory, a sub-element of complete cognition.

Where the Myth Comes From

“Can a Brain Scan Tell What You’re Thinking?” is the million-dollar question.112 As we develop better technologies, surprising findings emerge almost monthly, and depending on how they are shared with the public, they are easily misinterpreted as meaning more than they actually do. For example, in his TED Talk, Christopher De Charms explains MRI imaging of parts of the brain used to move a hand. This is not thinking, but the title of his talk, “Looking Inside the Brain in Real Time suggests that “we can look at his mind” as he shows his colleague’s MRI scan, which can mislead people to think they are seeing “thinking.” De Charms says that we can learn to manage our pain better and avoid pills, psychiatrists, and surgery by controlling our bodies with our minds. While much of this is positive and can often be true, it can be argued that it is overreaching to think that “you will be able to look at all the aspects that make you yourself, all your experiences.” 113 While it is true that technology is marching forward, it is probably unrealistic to think “all” of this will be available soon.

While sensationalist, the video is based on serious work by Nathan Spreng at Cornell University114 that celebrates the complexities of thinking by considering agreeable and disagreeable descriptors, and the context in which social exchanges occur. By piecing together multiple images across variables, Spreng and colleagues suggest they get an idea of what people are imagining. While this is not thinking per se, the actual research was far less sensationalistic than the headline it earned and far more interesting to serious researchers.

In another extreme example, Grabianowski115 writes that there are “Six Ways Science Can See Into Your Brain,” which is actually a nice summary article about imaging techniques electroencephalogram (EEG); computerized axial tomography (CAT); positron emission tomography (PET); magnetic resonance imaging (MRI); functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI); and magnetoencephalography (MEG). This article seems to go hand in hand with another, “Brain Researchers Can Detect Who We Are Thinking About,” 116 which explains how imaging techniques work. The belief that brain scanners can see people’s thinking is due to lack of scientific literacy and/or expert knowledge about the limits of technology. In general, these headlines simply overextend the actual research findings. This is not their fault, however, as that is the job of a headline. The fault is in not reading beyond the headline, which is the reader’s decision.

What We Know Now

Each brain imaging machine can, at best, measure a single dimension (electrical, chemical, or structural) of one sub-skill set (e.g., symbol to sound correlation; semantic memory; identifying mistakes in word spelling; mental rotation, alerting system, and so on). No imaging machine can measure thought, only a sub-element of a thought. The truth of the matter is that we now know that the act of thinking involves perception (all the sensory systems working together), memory, attention, executive functions, domain area networks, and other complex mechanisms to result in a single thought. “Thinking” is not a single firing in the brain, but rather the combination of dozens of networks (and thousands of connections) working in synchronous rhythm. While we can detect the neural networks that are important in each of these mechanisms, we cannot actually tell what they mean collectively. That is, we can see the networks related to semantic retrieval of information, but not necessarily the exact word “dog” as someone thinks of it.117

It’s now clear that there are many different pieces to a single thought and that “the distinctive cognitive demands of each stage [of thinking] will produce a brain pattern that can be used to estimate temporal boundaries of that stage.” 118 This means that, to actually see thinking, multiple simultaneous images would be needed. The closest we have to seeing this “big picture” of thinking is the Connectome Project,119 which gives us images of neural networks. But a neural network is not a thought. It is easy to understand how the public can be misled by the alluring headlines that seem to promise a glimpse into individual thinking, but this technology does not yet exist.

Want to Maintain Total Cerebral Brain Volume? Keep Walking

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 16:21:49 -0400

New research suggests that low-intensity walking helps to maintain total cerebral volume and promotes healthy brain aging.

6 Ways to Manage Multiple Emotions

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 15:57:55 -0400

How to navigate many emotions at once when dealing with difficult life events such as infertility.

The Flames of Notre Dame Teach Us the Importance of Beauty

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 15:44:20 -0400

When Notre Dame caught fire, there was an outpouring of emotion from the whole world. This dramatic response illustrates the importance of beauty and awe in our lives.

Science, Free Will, and Existentialism

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 15:32:44 -0400

Part 3 of an interview with distinguished philosophy professor Bas van Fraassen on his connection to existentialism.

The New Math for Narcissists

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 14:48:45 -0400

Narcissists describe all relations between between two people in terms of who is larger than whom, always placing themselves on the most favorable side of the equation.

Break-Up Recovery 101: How to Heal from Heartbreak

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 13:52:10 -0400

When it’s been more than a month and you’re still stuck in an emotional holding pattern, you need to force yourself to get back into the ebb and flow of social connections.

Technology and Sleep

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 13:08:30 -0400

Technology has a lot of benefits. That doesn’t mean we can’t put our devices away each night – for everyone’s sleep.

Dysfunctional Family Role: Black Sheep

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:41:27 -0400

Black sheep in families act out their parents' forbidden impulses to engage in sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. However, if they enjoy themselves too much, the parents become unstable.

The History of Intoxication in America

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:08:44 -0400

We have been chasing down substance use in America since our beginnings as a country. Yet, if anything, we are doing worse than ever. How should we reverse this descent?

5 Tips for Coping with a Narcissistic Family Member

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:06:23 -0400

Narcissistic family members demand attention, insult those closest to them, and want others to resolve their conflicts. Here are some ways to cope.

Alone in a House Where Nobody Talked

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 11:48:17 -0400

Why do you have to be honest with children even about suicide? This story of suicide shows what happens when you lie.

How to Turn Criticism into an Opportunity to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 11:45:03 -0400

It has often been said that it takes a village to raise a child. Problem is, others may not agree with how you choose to raise your child, and you won’t always be able to control how they consider a child “should be raised.”

Inspired by John Gottman’s studies, “Emotion Coaching” has been found to lead to fewer behavior problems, better academic outcomes, better self-regulation, and greater emotional and physical health. Put differently, there is no doubt that treating your child’s emotions as valid and understanding that his ability to freely express them goes a long way in developing his emotional intelligence.

That said, not everyone will agree with how you choose to foster this emotional intelligence. For instance, it is not uncommon to have to deal with others’ remarks to your child such as “big boys don’t cry”, “stop crying, it’s nothing”, “that didn’t hurt”, “stop being a cry baby” “be a good girl”, “stop sulking”, and so on. The biggest problem is that most of these remarks are often made by close friends and family, and it is not always easy to know how to react in the heat of the moment.

Here are a few tips to help you transform criticism into an opportunity to foster your child’s emotional intelligence

1. Turn criticism into an opportunity to talk about emotions.

Different researchers agree that teaching kids to identify and verbalize their own and others’ emotions is critical to the development of their emotional intelligence. In the face of criticism around your child’s emotion-driven behavior, turning that situation into an opportunity to talk about emotions can be a powerful tool towards the development of his emotional intelligence.

For instance, you could say something like “you know when people are angry/frustrated/tired/stressed, they sometimes say or do things that they don’t necessarily mean. Like earlier today when… said …, maybe she was angry because you…” or “Do you sometimes say things you don’t mean when you’re angry or tired. Maybe that’s why… said …” or “even in school sometimes your friends will say something because they’re mad/frustrated/sad but that’s just their emotions talking”

2. Show your child you disagree with the negative criticism.

The wounds inflicted in childhood are among the most difficult to heal. Criticism, especially when frequent, can have a negative impact on your child and transform how she views herself. Studies on the Pygmalion effect — first described by Rosenthal — have repeatedly shown that we all tend to act in line with what we believe is expected of us. Your child is more likely to be clumsy around people who think of her as clumsy, and more “aggressive” around people who describe her as aggressive.

Criticism can thus teach your child to develop a negative self-image, and this can follow her beyond the childhood years. The good news is that you can turn criticism into an opportunity to help strengthen your child’s self-esteem. For instance, you could say something like “you remember when … said you’re a cry baby? I don’t agree with her. I think you were…”.

Then, you could also take advantage of the opportunity to help her explore other ways she can express her emotions… “You know I’d also be sad if …but there are other things you can do if that happens again.” If you are already working with your child on appropriate ways to deal with difficult situations, this may be an opportunity to discuss possible solutions: “What do you think you can do if the same thing happens again?” If not, it can be an opportunity to explore different and appropriate ways your child can learn to react to difficult situations by herself.

3. Stand by your beliefs.

It doesn’t matter how you decide to raise your child — someone, somewhere, will think you could be doing a better job.

One of the hardest things about criticism is that it often comes off as a personal attack on our parenting skills. And sometimes it makes us question whether we’re raising our kids right, and whether or not we’re “good enough parents”. But here’s the thing: there will always be someone to criticize your parenting choices and it is impossible to conform to everyone’s idea of a “perfect parent”. So, stand by your parenting strategy, but do not go into defense mode. Keep your responses short — “this is how we do it” or “we’re teaching… that it’s okay for boys to cry” or “no, she’s not acting like a brat, she’s just mad because…”

Do not go into an in-depth discussion in an attempt to convince others to see things your way in the heat of the moment — it rarely works. A criticizer is unlikely to listen if she feels you’re trying to humiliate her. But that does not mean you shouldn’t confront the person, especially if she is someone you see often, and if she repeatedly criticizes your child.

When everything is calm, you could say something like “I really appreciate … but … responds best when we’re warm and receptive”. Or, “I’m really sorry but it’s getting harder for us to come visit because every time I feel like you’re criticizing my parenting and XXX feels like you don’t like him.”

4. Distance yourself from consistently negative criticism.

Discussions do not always work, and if negative criticism is straining your relationship and affecting your child, it might be time to distance yourself from the critical person. The thing is, you can’t always change how people perceive things, but do not allow them to change your fundamental principles. It you feel that some people are toxic and have a negative impact on your child, do not hesitate to cut them out of your life.

5. Teach your child to be his own advocate.

You won’t always be there to deal with difficult situations affecting your child, so it’s important to teach him how to deal with criticism and other difficult situations by himself. Remember that it is by dealing with these types of situations that he is capable of developing his emotional intelligence. Several studies have found that children have a greater chance of developing their emotional intelligence in situations of conflict because conflict forces them to deal with difficult emotions.

The first thing is to help him learn to understand that emotions have an impact on his behavior, but also on how others react to our behavior. Using age-appropriate games is an effective way of helping kids learn to identify and express their emotions more effectively.

Like I mentioned earlier, your child must know that others’ reactions to his behavior are also emotion-driven. For instance, you could say something like “you remember when… said…, I don’t think she meant it. I think she was reacting like that because… Like the other day you remember when I told you to … and you yelled that you hate me because you were upset. Sometimes when we’re angry or frustrated, we do or say certain things that we don’t really mean.’

To take things further, you can give him examples of how he can react appropriately to criticism. For instance, you could say something like, “You know it’s not always easy for … to understand you so you can help her next time by telling her you’re angry because you don’t think she’s being fair…” or “you could tell her you’re just upset because no one is listening to you.” Getting your child to this level takes time, but by repeatedly encouraging him to express the emotions behind his behavior, it becomes easier for him to express those emotions and also understand that others’ reactions are driven by emotions.

Why Comic Book Heroes Are Sexy

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 11:41:22 -0400

Ever notice how unrealistic Wonder Woman’s body is—or wonder what's up with the Hulk? A new study explains.

Whose Fault Is It?

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 11:29:13 -0400

How you manage the difference between something that happened to you and something you did can impact your self-confidence, well-being, and general satisfaction in life.

Why So Certain?

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 11:06:50 -0400

Sureness and Sacredness

Jurors Are Left Traumatized by Some Court Cases

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 10:14:15 -0400

Juries are left to process the psychological effects of trial on their own

Look for the Humor; Look for the Humanity

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 09:09:26 -0400

Many of us already have everything on this earth that we need to make life worth living. Here's how to go out and find it.

The Cultural Dimensions of Dreaming

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 08:00:00 -0400

Anyone interested in dream psychology will find the works of these anthropologists enormously helpful in understanding the cultural dimensions of dreaming.

Study IDs Brain Activity Tied to Angry Emotions in Dreams

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 07:15:29 -0400

An international team of researchers has identified a pattern of brain activity that correlates with angry emotions experienced during dreaming. The study, published in the journal JNeurosci, sheds new light on the neural basis of the emotional content of nightmares, a symptom of various mental and sleep disorders.

Emotional experiences are central not only to our waking life but also to the dreams we have during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. However, few studies have looked at the brain mechanisms underlying the emotional aspects of dreams.

Now, study author Pilleriin Sikka, from the Department of Psychology and Turku Brain and Mind Center at the University of Turku in Finland, and colleagues from the University of Skövde in Sweden and the University of Cambridge in the U.K. discovered a shared emotional mechanism between our waking and dreaming states.

A total of 17 participants (10 women) underwent electroencephalography (EEG) recordings during two separate nights in a sleep laboratory. After five-minute bouts of rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the researchers woke the participants and asked them to describe their dream and to rate their emotional experiences during the dream.

The researchers also analyzed two-minute pre-awakening EEG segments, as well as 8-minute resting wakefulness segments during their evening pre-sleep and morning post-sleep.

The findings show that participants who displayed greater alpha-band brain activity in the right — as compared to the left — frontal cortex during evening wakefulness and during REM sleep experienced more anger in their dreams. This suggests that people with greater alpha power in the right frontal hemisphere may be less able to regulate, or inhibit, strong emotional states while dreaming.

This neural signature — called frontal alpha asymmetry (FAA) — has been linked to anger and self-regulation during wakefulness. Together, these results suggest FAA may reflect a universal indicator of emotion regulation.

An estimated 50 to 80 percent of adults report having the occasional nightmare, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Around 2 to 8 percent of people have nightmares that can affect their sleep quality.

Previous research has shown frequent nightmares to be tied to low income, insomnia, sleep-disordered breathing symptoms, neuroticism and being female. People who suffer from nightmares are also five times more likely to have a psychiatric disorder.

Source: Society for Neuroscience

Best of Our Blogs: April 19, 2019

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 06:30:34 -0400

Many of us are still living in our childhood even if we’re not aware of it. It’s the reason we get easily overwhelmed, fall prey to others and external circumstances, and believe the world is scary. We learned these lessons early.

Therapy can help break these ingrained beliefs. Mindfulness and meditation can alert us when we’re getting reeled in by our past. Is what we’re feeling a realistic response to this moment or is it a reaction triggered from something that already happened?

We have the power to bring intention to every moment and situation. We can decide what kind of day we want to have or even what type of spring vacation we want to plan. Taking control over what we can helps to remind us that we’re not helpless children anymore.

If you’re ready to approach life with a present-minded mindset, you might even receive the secondary benefits of being less fearful and complaining less. Keep reading to see what I mean.

Jealous Mothers Competing with their Daughters
(Full Heart, Empty Arms) – This true story reveals what it’s like when mothers are jealous of their own daughters.

How to Stop Complaining
(NLP Discoveries) – Even complaining has its purpose. Find out why you complain and you may be able to let go of it for good.

Facing Your Fears: Maybe You Don’t Have to Step out of Your Comfort Zone
(Happily Imperfect) – This will completely shift your thoughts on the danger and comfort zones.

31 More Questions to Help You Know Yourself
(Weightless) – What if there was one exercise that could reconnect you with your true self? There is. This is it.

The Narcissist of Downton Abbey
(Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – If you’re a fan of Downton Abbey, you’ll see one of the show’s characters differently after you read this.

Mouse Study: Why Heart Failure Patients Often Struggle With Depression, Impaired Thinking

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 06:30:22 -0400

Heart failure patients often struggle with neurological issues, including depression and thinking problems, but the reasons for this have remained unclear. In a new paper published in the journal Scientific Reports, Canadian researchers from the University of Guelph (U of G) use a mouse model to explain how the circadian rhythm may play a role in this heart-brain connection.

“Neurosurgeons always look in the brain; cardiologists always look in the heart. This new study looked at both,” said Tami Martino, a professor in U of G’s department of biomedical sciences and director of the Centre for Cardiovascular Investigations.

Human patients with heart failure often have neurological problems such as cognitive impairment and depression, said Martino. She suspected the heart-brain connection may involve the circadian mechanism molecule, called “clock.”

Circadian rhythms in humans and other organisms follow Earth’s 24-hour cycle of light and darkness, signaling when to sleep and when to be awake. Martino’s previous research showed how disrupting circadian rhythms — as with shift workers, jet-lagged travelers and patients disturbed in intensive-care units — can trigger changes that worsen heart disease and impair overall health and well-being.

In the new study, the researchers compared normal mice with mice carrying a mutation in their circadian mechanism (called “clock mice”). They found that the mutation impacted the structure of neurons in brain areas important for cognition and mood. Working with University of Toronto colleagues, the team also found differences in clock regulation of blood vessels in the brains of the clock mice.

After inducing heart failure in mice to simulate human heart failure, they identified key genes in the brain that were altered in neural growth, stress and metabolism pathways. The results show that the circadian mechanism influences neural effects of heart failure, said Martino. Pointing out that no cure exists for the heart condition, she said understanding how the circadian mechanism works in the brain may lead to new strategies to improve patients’ quality of life.

For example, patients recovering from heart attacks often experience disturbed circadian rhythms from light, noise and interactions with hospital staff at night. “Maintaining circadian rhythms especially for patients with heart disease could lead to better health outcomes,” said Martino.

The study also points to potential health benefits for people in general. Avoiding shift work for individuals with underlying heart conditions or sleep disorders, reducing light at night or avoiding social jet lag (going to bed late and waking up later than usual on weekends) could all help reduce neurobiological impairments.

These problems — and potential solutions — involve not just hearts but brains, she said. “If we’re not yet able to cure heart failure, we should at least be focusing on how we can improve quality of life for patients.”

Source: University of Guelph

Ancestry.com Apologizes and Pulls Ad "Romanticizing" Slavery

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 04:41:53 -0400

Source: Yahoo News - Business

Ancestry.com apologized for a commercial it has since deleted that critics claim romanticizes slavery in the United States

Transgender Youths Face Tough Decision on Preserving Fertility

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 04:41:43 -0400

Source: United Press International - Science News

For transgender teens and young adults, deciding whether to freeze their sperm or eggs in case they want children later on is a complex decision.

Interparental Aggression Often Co-Occurs with Aggression Toward Kids

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 04:41:28 -0400

Source: Psych Central

Parents who engage in psychologically or physically aggressive arguments tend to be aggressive with their children as well, according to a new study at Penn State.

Sex in the Great Outdoors

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 21:53:48 -0400

Outdoor sex has a long history touted these days in the movies. Beware, like much in films, its pleasures are not to be taken literally.

Beware the 3 Relationship Poisons

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 21:44:56 -0400

In the Buddhist tradition, there is an image known as the "wheel of samsara"—a symbol of the cycle of conditions that go round and round and round.

Important insight on the brain-body connection

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:13:33 -0400

A study reveals that neurons in the motor cortex exhibit an unexpected division of labor, a finding that could help scientists understand how the brain controls the body and provide insight on certain neurological disorders.

Brain wiring differences identified in children with conduct disorder

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:13:22 -0400

Behavioral problems in young people with severe antisocial behavior -- known as conduct disorder -- could be caused by differences in the brain's wiring that link the brain's emotional centers together, according to new research.

10 Useful Questions for Counselors to Ask

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:02:18 -0400

Queries that have helped my clients move forward.

Behavioral disorders in kids with autism linked to reduced brain connectivity

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 16:43:40 -0400

More than a quarter of children with autism spectrum disorder are also diagnosed with disruptive behavior disorders. Now researchers have identified a possible biological cause: a key mechanism that regulates emotion functions differently in the brains of the children who exhibit disruptive behavior.

How to Find the Strength to Leave a Relationship

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 16:40:16 -0400

It takes tremendous courage to leave a relationship that no longer fits. It takes tremendous self-love to know you deserve better. It takes tremendous faith to believe something better, someone better lies just around the corner in your future. It takes tremendous wisdom to feel deep in your bones that you were born to live a life of joy and that everything you dream about can be yours.

I am here to offer living proof that you do deserve better. That you must leave. That if you can imagine being with someone that loves you and cherishes you, empowers you and uplifts you, someone who makes your heart sing, that you can’t keep your hands off of, that makes your eyes sparkle and your pulse quicken, that person exists. How can it not be so?

But the key to finding that person is believing in yourself. Loving yourself. Giving yourself everything you want to come from the other person: the love, the admiration, the flowers, the nice dinners. The key is turning yourself into the person you are looking for. If you want someone with a stable career, find a stable career yourself. If you want someone fit and healthy, become fit and healthy yourself. If you want someone that speaks a second language or loves to travel, start doing both yourself. If you want someone that dresses well, start dressing well yourself.

Not only does Law of Attraction come into play once you do this, but you suddenly start thriving in ways you never did before. You become happier. You become filled with life force energy. You begin to glow and that glow is sexy. You feel more confident and that confidence is sexy. You have taken the reins, you are no longer stuck waiting for someone to come along and make you feel sexy or confident or powerful or loved.

Many of us fall in love with the potential of a partner. And then we become infuriated that s/he does not live up to it. This also has to stop. What you see is what you get. And what you get is a mirror image of your own vibration. So the surest way to attract in a thriving, happy, content, and whole partner is to become that yourself first. Before you start looking.

If we are walking a spiritual path or evolving in any way, we will outgrow relationships with people that are not doing the work to evolve. And that’s okay. It’s no big deal. But, as a plant outgrows a pot, if it does not get moved to something larger it will begin to die. The same happens to us. The sickness comes. The aches and pains. The headaches and backaches and depression. Our life force begins to dwindle. We become lethargic and choose lifeless foods. The weight accumulates, or we become extra skinny. Then the self loathing comes. All of it easily changed if we would just move to a larger pot. Demand more for ourselves. Choose fear of the unknown over the illusory safety of the familiar. Let go of belief systems, friends, and family that tell us we have to stay.

Don Miguel Luis says, in his book The Four Agreements, that we will allow others to abuse us as much as we abuse ourselves. If they abuse us a little less or as much, we will stay. If they abuse us just a little more, we will leave. So the questions are: How much do you abuse yourself? How often do you criticize? And how can you stop? Baby steps is the answer. Little acts of self-nurturing and self-love.

Paulo Coelho, in his book The Alchemist, says once we know what we want the entire universe conspires to help us. Esther Hicks says the same in Ask and It Is Given. So, test it. Decide you are done. Decide you want more. Decide to take the leap of faith. It’s called a leap of faith because we jump without seeing the landing. We just trust that it is time to jump and know wherever we land, it will be better. And only once we’re in the air are we able to discover we have wings.

“Come to the edge,” he said.

“We can’t, we’re afraid!” they responded.

“Come to the edge,” he said.

“We can’t, We will fall!” they responded.

“Come to the edge,” he said.

And so they came.

And he pushed them.

And they flew.

― Guillaume Apollinaire

Brain's imperfect execution of mathematically optimal perception

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:17:28 -0400

Human perception is based on mathematically optimal principles, but the brain implements those principles imperfectly, suggests new research.

Growing a cerebral tract in a microscale brain model

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:16:09 -0400

An international research team modeled the growth of cerebral tracts. Using neurons derived from stem cells, they grew cortical-like spheroids. In a microdevice, the spheroids extended bundles of axons toward each other, forming a physical and electrical connection. Fascicles grew less efficiently when one spheroid was absent, and when a gene relevant to cerebral tract formation was knocked-down. The study further illuminates brain growth and developmental disorders.

Researchers map sound, response and reward anticipation in mouse brain

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 13:14:22 -0400

Neuroscientists report that two areas of the mouse brain combine representations of what is heard and anticipated, guiding behavior that leads mice to the best reward.

How superstitions spread

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 13:13:34 -0400

Superstitious beliefs may seem irrational, but they can nevertheless catch on in a society. Using an evolutionary approach to studying the emergence of coordinated behaviors, biologists showed how a jumble of individual beliefs, including superstitions, can coalesce into an accepted social norm.

U.S. Church Membership Has Dropped Sharply Over Past 20 Years

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 12:43:57 -0400

Source: U.S. News and World Report

Gallup poll: The percentage of US adults who belong to a church or other religious institution has plunged by 20 percentage points over the past two decades, hitting a low of 50% last year.

6 Inspiring Books That Will Lift Your Mood

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 11:45:04 -0400

Losing yourself in the pages of a riveting novel or memoir is a legitimate form of therapy. Even better is coming away from the characters and the story with a renewed purpose and sense of hope.

John Green, one of my favorite authors, said “Great books help you understand, and they help you feel understood.” I think that’s true especially for people who struggle with depression and anxiety or some other chronic illness that is stigmatized in our culture. Between the covers of a book, we find a new world that shines some light on our reality.

Here are a few inspiring books that will “help you understand and help you feel understood.”

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

On his 83^rdbirthday, Eddie dies in an accident at a seaside amusement park while trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. He wakes up in heaven, which is not the lush destination that he expected. Instead, it’s a place where your earthly life is explained to you by five people, some strangers and some people you know.

They teach Eddie about the interconnection of all lives — how our stories overlap — and that small sacrifices and acts of kindness impact people more than we know, that the meaning of life is found in our small gestures of love each day.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Hailed as a modern classic, this book tells the story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who embarks on a journey in search of a worldly treasure and to realize his “personal legend.” What I appreciated most about the story was the way Santiago’s setbacks and disappointments made sense in the end — they were all part of a beautiful tapestry that you couldn’t see until the journey was over.

In a blog for the Huffington Post, Thai Nguyen lists 10 Powerful Life Lessons from The Alchemist. Among them are:

Fear is a bigger obstacle than the obstacle itself
What is “true” will always endure
Embrace the present
Be unrealistic (ignore the impossible)
Keep getting back up
Focus on your journey

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Like The Kite Runner, this book is not an easy read. Parts of it are heartbreaking and haunting. However, all the acts of self-sacrifice and love between Mariam and Laila, two women brought together by war and loss, to preserve their family are profoundly moving.

Hosseini is a masterful storyteller who communicates a theme of hope on each page, even in the midst of dire and unforgiving circumstances. The story is full of teachable moments about how to endure difficulty with gentleness, suffering with grace, and how even the worst tragedies can have redemptive endings.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The title of this book is inspired by Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar, in which the nobleman Cassius says to Brutus: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.” It is narrated by Hazel Grace Lancaster, a 16-year-old girl with thyroid cancer who is staying alive thanks to an experimental drug. Her parents insist she attends a support group, where she meets 18-year-old Augustus Waters, a former basketball play whose Osteosarcoma caused him to lose his right leg.

**Spoiler alert** They fall in love. Augustus takes Hazel to Amsterdam to meet her favorite author, who is a major disappointment. Then Augustus dies. Not your typical love story. Augustus’ final message to Hazel is that getting hurt in this world is inevitable, but we get to choose who we allow to hurt us, and that he is happy with his choice.

For anyone whose days are consumed with illness and how to cope, this book provides a refreshing message that love and hope can be found in the least expected places, and that there is much beauty in the present moment.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I read this short, little book in French class when I was a junior in high school and it made a tremendous impact on me. A literary classic, The Little Prince is the most translated book in the French language and one of the most loved stories in all languages. Its universal message transcends all cultures, presenting a simple wisdom every human being can relate to.

Published more the 75 years ago, this spiritual parable or moral allegory about a small boy who leaves his planet to visit Earth contains many powerful lines, such as:

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
“It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.”

Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach

A fable about a seagull learning to fly, this novella is packed full of life lessons and insights that can apply to a variety of difficulties and challenges: about perfectionism and the tendency to lose ourselves in obsessions and goals; about conflict and forgiveness; and about the freedom that is found in being yourself. The pages take you on a journey of self-inquiry and self-awareness, guiding you toward some critical truths.

The wise seagull Chiang tells Jonathan that the secret to move instantaneously and to go anywhere in the universe is to “begin by knowing that you already have arrived.” It’s cognitive behavioral therapy and spiritual direction in literary form.

A Therapist Listens to the Message

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 10:00:39 -0400

I see therapists as surgeons of the soul who have learned to help clean out the wounds of clients who come to us for healing themselves and then sew them back up. It is an honor to be in that role. It doesn’t come without its own challenges. One came up recently that I have needed to address and remember the adage, “Healer, heal thyself.”

It began with a bit of muffling in my hearing in my right ear. As a swimmer in my youth, I was accustomed to ‘swimmer’s ear’ with a sloshing feeling, but this felt entirely different. I swallowed and it cleared for a bit. Then it leapt across my head to the left. I tapped into what I knew to do; wax dissolving ear drops, anti-histamine, essential oils massaged around the outside of the ears. My holistically- and medically-oriented friends had other suggestions, with one being visiting my PCP and have him flush out the ear canals. As I am wont to do, I chose that as the last resort, thinking I was too busy, or it would somehow clear on its own.

I also consulted the work of Louise Hay, author and speaker whose classic book You Can Heal Your Life highlights specific physiological and psychological conditions and her take on the emotional contributing causes. Note that it is not meant to be diagnostic or offering medical advice. It is merely something to consider and speaks to the idea that our thoughts are powerful and can influence our sense of wellness or illness.

She relates the ears to the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.

As someone who is anger avoidant, which I attribute to family patterns of same; rarely was it expressed in my childhood home, I learned to submerge it. In my marital home, it sometimes erupted with ferocity (on occasion words would come out of my mouth that shocked me) while my husband was intimately familiar with explosive expression since that was modeled in his childhood home. As a therapist, I feel called to help clients with assertive but not aggressive verbalizing of their feelings. I often sit with those whose relationships are missing an easy verbal flow. Some have no idea how to say what is in their hearts or on their minds. I listen with presence, taking in what they are saying as we craft conversation with those who matter to them. Some of them are in tumultuous circumstances in which arguing, and anger run rampant.

My ability to hear is crucial, so when my ears began to clog (imagine placing your palms over your ears and holding them there), I felt the fear rising. “What if it doesn’t get better? How will I do my job?” Of course, there are therapists in successful practices who are deaf or hard of hearing, and yet I didn’t want to find myself in that situation.

Over the weekend, I taught two workshops and had to tell the participants my dilemma and asked them to speak a little louder. I practiced lip read skills and on occasion requested that they repeat themselves. I took a deep breath and reassured myself that I had over the years recovered from a series of health crises; shingles, heart attack, kidney stones, knee injury and pneumonia. I had no reason to believe this would be any different.

As I often do, I consider how I would advise a client in the same situation. I would encourage them to remain as calm as they could and weigh the options. Yesterday, I sat with my first client who was in grad school who raised the concept of compassion fatigue in which the person in question feels “all gived out,” and needs to replenish their stores. I added that it contains the paradigm of vicarious traumatization whereby the therapist is immersed in what I call “emotion soup,” and may take on the spillover feelings from clients. For those who are especially empathic (more than merely empathetic) who can sense the emotions as if they are experiencing them it is a particularly intense occupational hazard. I fall into that category and feel as if I need to “shake it off,” when some clients complete their sessions. I leave the office and take a walk around the halls and return a bit more refreshed. As I was with this particular client, I was able to process my own self-care, or lack thereof.

As I had a break later in the day, I knew I had to call my doctor and see if he could fit me in. Blessedly, he could. A few hours later, I found myself perched on the exam table, holding a spillover container to first one ear and then the other, as he flushed out the wax and wonder of wonders, my complete hearing was restored. No infection, no residual impact.

A relatively simple fix, but one that came after deep exploration of what it means to really listen to my inner voice. I had to be comfortable enough with sitting in relative silence since my chattering monkey mind attempts to distract me. In the midst of the mini-crisis over the weekend, I inquired about what it was that I had not been listening to. It came down to the age-old belief that I could never do enough or be enough, despite the feedback I receive from those I serve. It came down to the worthiness issues I hold. It came down to the shadow I am afraid to face. It came down to the some of the same vulnerabilities that my clients bring to the sessions. It came down to the understanding that if I am to be effective with helping them heal, I need to first have the courage to admit that I can’t be all things to all people. It came down to being authentically vulnerable. It came down to listening to the sounds of silence.

A ‘Million Word Gap’ for Kids Who Aren’t Read to at Home

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 07:15:33 -0400

Young children who are read five books a day from birth will begin kindergarten having heard about 1.4 million more words than kids who were never read to, according to a new study published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.

This “million word gap” could help explain the stark differences often seen in vocabulary and reading development among young children.

“Kids who hear more vocabulary words are going to be better prepared to see those words in print when they enter school,” said Jessica Logan, lead author of the study and assistant professor of educational studies at The Ohio State University. “They are likely to pick up reading skills more quickly and easily.”

And every little bit helps. Even children who are read only one book a day will hear about 290,000 more words by age 5 than those who don’t regularly read books with a parent or caregiver.

The idea for this research came from one of Logan’s previous studies, which found that about one-fourth of children in a national sample were never read to and another fourth were seldom read to (once or twice weekly).

“The fact that we had so many parents who said they never or seldom read to their kids was pretty shocking to us. We wanted to figure out what that might mean for their kids,” Logan said.

The researchers worked with the Columbus Metropolitan Library, which identified the 100 most circulated books for both board books (targeting infants and toddlers) and picture books (targeting preschoolers).

The team randomly chose 30 books from both lists and counted how many words were in each book. They found that board books contained an average of 140 words, while picture books contained an average of 228 words.

With that information, the team calculated how many words a child would hear from birth through his or her 5th birthday at different levels of reading. They assumed that kids would be read board books through their 3rd birthday and picture books the next two years, and that every reading session (except for one category) would include one book.

They also assumed that parents who reported never reading to their kids actually read one book to their children every other month.

According to their findings, here’s how many words children would have heard by the time they turned 5 years old: Never read to, 4,662 words; 1-2 times per week, 63,570 words; 3-5 times per week, 169,520 words; daily, 296,660 words; and five books a day, 1,483,300 words.

“The word gap of more than 1 million words between children raised in a literacy-rich environment and those who were never read to is striking,” Logan said.

The vocabulary word gap in this study is different from a conversational word gap and may have different implications for children, she said.

“This isn’t about everyday communication. The words kids hear in books are going to be much more complex, difficult words than they hear just talking to their parents and others in the home,” she said.

For example, a children’s book about Antarctic penguins may introduce words and concepts that are unlikely to come up in everyday conversation.

“The words kids hear from books may have special importance in learning to read,” she said.

The million word gap found in this study is likely to be conservative, said Logan. Parents will often talk about the book they’re reading with their children or add elements if they have read the story many times. This “extra-textual” talk will reinforce new vocabulary words that kids are hearing and may introduce even more words.

“Exposure to vocabulary is good for all kids. Parents can get access to books that are appropriate for their children at the local library,” Logan said.

Source: The Ohio State University